Twilight Christmas Carols
by I-Want-To-RENT-Jacob-Black
Summary: My December 2010 Collection of Twilight Parody Christmas Carols and Songs. All for fun! Rated T.


**Disclaimer: The original songs belong to their owners. I just remixed them and made them better.**

**Author Note:** During random days over the last month, I have written out Twilight Christmas Carols. Rather than post one every time I wrote them, like I did on my facebook, I compiled them all together for your reading pleasure.

Because I have nothing better to do with my life, I remixed them and it took a LOT of time, so please enjoy and leave reviews.

On the first one, Twi-guy = Twilight guy a*k*a: Twilight boyfriend.

**Twelve Days of Christmas (Twilight Version)**

On the first day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, a Volvo with a spare key.

On the second day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the third day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the fourth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the fifth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the sixth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, six wolves-a-howling, FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the seventh day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, Seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling , FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the eighth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, eight Edwards sparkling, Seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling , FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the ninth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, nine yellow Porsches, eight Edwards sparkling, Seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling, , FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the tenth day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, ten Isle Esmes, nine yellow Porsches, eight Edwards sparkling, seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling, , FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my Twi-guy gave to me, eleven Jaspers hunting, ten Isle Esmes, nine yellow Porsches, eight Edwards sparkling, seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling, , FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my Twi-Guy gave to me…Twelve trade secrets, eleven Jaspers hunting, ten Isle Esmes, , nine yellow Porsches, eight Edwards sparkling, seven Bellas whining, six wolves-a-howling, FIVE JACOB BLACKS! Four stupid lambs, three motorcycles, two angry Pauls and a Volvo with a spare key!

**(Takes deep breaths)**

**Now keep in mind that I do not want the sparkly Edwards, whiny Bellas, stupid lambs or Isle Esmes. They just fit in the song. So you all my divide those amongst yourselves. :D**

**Up on the housetop (Twilight Version)**

Up on the housetop clickety clack!

Down jumps handsome Jacob Black!

Down through the chimney with all his abs!

He says that a date with him is up for grabs.

Oh! Oh! Oh! I wanna go!

Oh! Oh! Oh! I wanna go!

I get dressed up in a dress of black!

I'm headed out with Jake and the whole wolf pack!

**Jacob Black is Coming to Town! (Santa Claus is coming to town)**

You better watch out!  
You better not cry!  
You better get pumped!  
I'm telling you why...  
Jacob Black is coming to town!

He warms you when your sleeping!  
He's sweet when your awake!  
He wont leave you alone in the woods!  
Edward that was a HUGE mistake.

You better watch out!  
You're gonna get wet!  
Cause he's got abs that will make you sweat!  
Jacob Black is coming to town!

At first my heart is racing,  
And then its beating slow,  
As he approaches me tonight  
Underneath the mistletoe!

He's making a list!  
And checking it twice!  
He doesn't care whether your naughty or nice!  
Jacob Black is coming to town!

Jacob Black is coming...  
Jacob Black is coming...  
Jacob Black is coming to TOWN! :)

**I wish you a merry Christmas****  
**  
I wish you a merry christmas!

I wish you a merry christmas!

I wish you a merry christmas and a twilight new moon.

Good tidings to you, both vampires and wolves.

Good tidings for christmas and a twilight new moon!

Oh bring me a werewolf boyfriend!

Oh bring me a werewolf boyfriend!

Oh bring me a werewolf boyfriend, with eight beautiful abs!

I wish you a merry christmas!

I wish you a merry christmas!

I wish you a merry christmas and a twilight new moon.

Good tidings to you, in Forks and La Push.

Good tidings for christmas and a twilight new moon!

**Must Be Jacob (Must be Santa remix)**  
Who's got the world's most beautiful chest?  
Jacob's got the world's most beautiful chest!

Who's got a wolf pack that's the best?  
Jacob's got a wolf pack that's the best!

Beautiful chest! Pack that's best!

Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob, Jacob Black.

Who phases into a wolf at night? Jacob phases into a wolf at night!  
Who fell for Bella at first sight? Jacob fell for Bella at first sight!

Wolf at night! At first sight!  
Beautiful chest! Pack thats best!

Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob, Jacob Black.

Who with his wolf friends killed Laurent?  
Jacob with his wolf friends killed Laurent!

Who is the guy all the wolf girls want?  
Jacob is the guy all the wolf girls want!

Killed Laurent! Wolf girls want!  
Wolf at night! At first sight!  
Beautiful chest! Pack that's best!

Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob, Jacob Black.

Who's got a fever of one oh eight?  
Jacob has a fever of one oh eight!

Who has dark skin and a heart that's great?  
Jacob has dark skin and a heart that's great!

One oh eight! Heart that's great!  
Killed Laurent! Wolf girls want!  
Wolf at night! At first sight!  
Beautiful chest! Pack that's best!

Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob!  
Must be Jacob, Jacob Black.

**Oh Jacob Black (Oh Christmas Tree)**Oh Jacob Black!  
Oh Jacob Black!  
Oh how I love your eight pack!

Oh Jacob Black!  
Oh Jacob Black!  
Your smile gives me a heart attack!

It's beautiful, and so sexy!  
Glows brighter than my Christmas tree!

Oh Jacob Black!  
Oh Jacob Black!  
Oh how I love your eight pack!

**Rockin Around the Christmas Tree**

Rockin around, the Christmas tree at the La Push Bonfire hop!

Wolf boys are dancing merrily, me and my friends had to stop!

Rockin around, the Christmas tree let the Christmas spirit ring!

Later we'll go on double dates and we'll do some caroling!

You will get a sentamental feeling! When you hear, Jacob singing: "Let's be jolly! Deck the halls with boughs of holly!"

**All I want for Christmas is Jacob (All I want for Christmas is You) I rewrote the ENTIRE song this day. Kinda felt like it.**

I don't want a lot for Christmas.

There is just one thing I need!

I don't care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree!

I just want you for my own.

More than you could ever know.

Make my wish come true!

All I want for Christmas is...you...yeah.

I don't want a lot for Christmas.

There is just one thing I need.

(And I) Don't care about the vampires, they're too cold and sparkly.

I don't need to go and visit, over at the Cullen's place!

Santa Claus can't make me happy, all I want is Jacob's face!

I just want Jake for my own.

More than he could ever know.

Make my wish come true!

All I want for Christmas, is YOU!

You...baby!

I don't ask for much this Christmas!

I don't wanna be solo!

I just wanna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe!

I won't make a list and send it,

To the north pole or Saint nick!

I just want to have my Jacob!

And make sure he gets here quick!

Cause I just want him here tonight.

Warming me and holding tight!

What more can I do?

All I want for Christmas is you!

All the Cullens sparkle, so brightly everywhere!

But all I hear are wolf howls filling up the air!

And everyone is singing!

I hear those sleigh bells ringing!

Santa won't you please go back to the north pole,

cause I just want Jacob with me!

Oh, I don't want a lot this Christmas!

Jake is all I'm asking for!

I just want to see him shirtless,

Standing right outside my door.

Oh, I just want him for my own.

More than he could ever know.

Make my wish come true!

All I want for Christmas, is YOU!

All I want for Christmas...is Jacob!

All I want for Christmas...is Jacob!

All I want for Christmas...is Jacob!

All I want for Christmas...is Jacob!

**Deck the Halls**

Deck the halls with lots of werewolves!

Fa la la la la! La la la la!

While I sing of christmas carols!

Fa la la la la! La la la la!

Follow me in merry measure!

Fa la la la la la la la la!

When they phase I cheer with pleasure!

Fa la la la la! La la la LA!

**Walkin' in a La Push Wonderland (Walkin in a Winter Wonderland)**

Werewolves howl! Are ya listenin? When they phase, their abs glisten! A beautiful sight! I'm happy tonight! Walkin in a La Push Wonderland!

Gone away, are the cold ones! I don't care! They were no fun!  
Jake's struttin' along, And singing his song!  
Walking in a La Push Wonderland!

In the forest we can build a snowman, or we can ride the motorcycles too.  
Jake asks "Are u married?" I say "No man," and I think I might be right for you.

Later on we'll conspire! As we hang, by the fire! If i get afraid, Jake comes to my aid! Walkin' in a La Push wonderland!

**Santa Jakey (Santa Baby)**

Santa Jakey, just slip yourself up under the tree! For me!

I've been an awful good girl!

Santa Jakey, so hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa Jakey, you can so bring Paul along too! He's like you!

I'll wait up for you dear!

Santa Jakey! So hurry down the chimney tonight!

**Let it snow**

The weather outside is frightful!

But Jake's warmth is so delightful.

And since I've no place to go,

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping.

Jake's bought us some corn for popping.

The lights are turned way down low.

LET IT SNOW! LET IT SNOW LET IT SNOW!

When we finally kiss goodnight,

How I'll hate to go out in the storm!

But Jake says he'll hold me tight!

So all through the night I'll be warm!

Well, the fire is slowly dying.

But I plan on no goodbying.

My Jacob he loves me so.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

**End Author Note:** I would have written more, but I had writer's block after awhile. LOL hope you enjoyed.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Xoxoxo

Cam


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